My Song Is Love

My gosh, it's New Year's Eve already!

I lost some, but gained a lot, more than enough to make me forget about the losses. I am thankful for a lot of things though, like...

Being friends with Justin again. (Yeah, go have a party gay critics)
Melvin, Melissa and Bryan.
Going back to Church again.
Self Confidence.
A better relationship with the Family.

"And after everything, when the dust settles down, we'll just move on" - Aunt

So here's to a great '09 and where life takes me!







Sometimes I feel,
Like I'll never fall asleep.
I feel helpless,
You can't help me,
Fall asleep.
I like to dream.
But it scares me to think,
That at some point,
I'll forget when the dream began.

I just got out of my bed,
Covered in sweat.
I was angry,
'Cause you kept your hand on my chest.
Don't touch me.
I'm concentratin' on sleep,
On what I'll dream.
But I can't keep my eyelids shut.

Look at me sleepin'
I'm really sleepin'
Look at me dreamin'
I'm so happy.

Christmas Day.

Was pretty good. It started off with the usual, Open Present Time. This year's presents, I likeeee. The rest of the day was spent lazing around the house, doing the usual computer or teevee. Everyone was more or less tired from last night's party so it was quiet. It rained too. It was a nice day.

And now, it is 10pm. I shall start being productive.

I will do Marketing and Cards. I will also send out the Email.

WIN WIN WIN!

I think Dad is pissed at me.

Today, Christmas Party was good. Dad sure did a good job preparing the food. Mmm, the ham from London was just heaven. And..he didn't skim on the wine either. Which was to my disadvantage/advantage, because it meant I had one of the best meals this year and also that I got drunk.

So Drunk Me stumbled upstairs and fell asleep while all the action was taking place downstairs. SIGH.

Don't talk about Dad being pissed, I'm a little pissed at myself too. Especially since I knew it was coming and yet chose to drink more.

Anyway, I hope the Christmas Cheer makes the whole incident fade away into oblivion and that The Family will like the presents they receive tomorrow.





From before, when I had long(er) hair. Melly says I look like a bug here. I think it's a Dragonfly. DRAGONFLIES MAXIMIZE!!

I remember a time when the song by Coldplay, Warning Sign, meant a lot to me. It was not a long time back.

But now,
I do not seem to miss anymore.
I do not seem to look for excuses.
I do not seem to find negativity.
I do not seem to care.
I do not seem to love.

The Bible says that there is a season for everything. This season is probably over.

The Much-Delayed Pictures From The Railway.









We weren't there for 10 minutes when some dude scared us away (oh, we ran like never before). At least we managed to leave our sign behind!

Melly, we should have stuff like that more often.

They edge out Stars as my current favourite band.

LURVE THEM MANY MANY










"So I sat in Thasevi and read New Moon while waiting for my prata… alone… at a table meant for four" - losergurl1991@hotmail.com

FUNNEH TO THE MAX.

All I want is one more chance,
To be young and wild and free.
All I want is one more chance,
To show you were right for me.

I JUST LOVE STARS.

Don't know, I just had a sudden urge to do that. Because, I saw the tickets lying around near Bed. Can't wait till January, and fingers crossed that they'll live up to expectations. Egg-cy-teeng.

Any-o-how, listen. My favorite Stars song.


Tonight - Stars

Bryan's back from Ship

I had meant to do this post much earlier in the day, but a shopping trip with Justin delayed all that.

So, at the expense of great moolah, that shopping trip has turned all my paranoia into Happy. I got my new pair of shooze, a ColdPlay mug (totally un-expected, but totally worth it) and some Christmas Gifts. Alas, for once, going out with Justin has had POSITIVE results. :D

And now, Justin called me. So I like, forgot what I wanted to type about. Fo Shizz. I knew Justin's positivity couldn't last for long.

One thing's for sure though, Melly and I are going to break new ground in the fields of Bat research in the coming weeks. Wathc this space! D: (copyright Melly) Oh, oh, oh, we need Rope!

Ohhhkayyy...
Like how I know my parents love me because of the small things, they can get into fights over the really small things. Like really small. Like over $10.
Whuutt...

It's the little things, like asking repeatedly telling me to study and laughing at me when I on the air-con but wear a jacket, that remind me, that I am blessed with truly awesome parents.

And I thank you God, for that.

Filming is finally over, thank goodness for that.

I am stuck with having to study for MedSoc and Marketing which are in a few hours time. Yet, I feel oddly confident. Gosh, this has to stop. I'm wondering if I'm contracting some kind of complacio-deficiency-syndrome. Or should it be efficiency? 'Cause I have too much of it? Nah, Sam told me today not to think so much about stuff like these, so I shall listen, and not think.

I found a book at Shan's house today that I think Melly would like. The writing's exactly how she talks. Hmm...bad thoughts Bryan.

So here I am, listening to Yanni (jfkghsdjkfghdsfj) which for some reason helps me study, and doing MedSoc.

After all this is over, I'll go for my cruise, we'll head to KL and I'll gym like nevarrr before.




I'm still waiting.
Nope, it's not what you're think.
Not that one either.
Nah, just stop guessing.
You lousy lah.

You dance over me,
While I am unaware.
You sing all around,
But I never hear the sound.

Lord, I'm amazed by you.
Lord, I'm amazed by you.
Lord, I'm amazed by you.
How you love me.

It is 10am on a wet Monday morning. I have filming in Bishan in an hour, and I have yet to finish preparing the props and scripts. I have not had proper sleep in 5 days.

But, negativity aside, I am a very satisfied person. Camp was probably just what I needed to go through this last bit of the year. And aside for some hiccups on my part, I got what I went there for. I was so glad I waited. So thank you God, fellow camp com and of course the campers.


Digress! At times in the camp, I had the "Spain" feeling. Especially when I got into the Sleeping Bag. It was like...whoa...that camping feeling. That Spain feeling. :O

I need to be 18 now.

"A friend with weed is better"

A little while more till we hold up our multi-lingual Success signs. I think I shall make a toast tomorrow. Though I am pretty insecure about the end products, I shall be positive. And strangely, I feel that things are somehow going to get much better after this.

"I know it's a nice life and all, but is it what you really want? I mean, I know you're not as easy as that. You're deep"

"Study hard ah Bryan...I want you to get good results in your tests"

"Your legs look really small now. You stopped playing soccer. Now you look like RoboCop"

"If you can bring yourself to like her, she's not out of your league"

"Why do you bother so much? It's fine lah"

"Do you think I look better with the cape or scarf on?"

"One day, you perfect body, perfect face. Phwoar! Deh-neh-neh"



Quotes from the past 2 days. Guess who said what. Regardless, they all made me smile as I remembered them. Especially the last one.

I love my brother.

Some people need to learn their places and accept the fact that what they think is best is just a sad, sad excuse to the rest.

Oh, you're a tranny already all right. No need any more work on THAT aspect of life.

After this week, and the next, and Cruise and then probably a few days...we'll run away. To Kuala Lumpur.

There, we'll drink like never before and let toilet rolls down from our hotel window (that's if we can get it open).

For once, the people in Kuala Lumpur will have a White Christmas. Well, one strand of White to be exact.

In school, or rather, in life, I have realized that...

I am rather condescending.
I need to make more eye contact with people I am new to.
I am rather condescending.

Though I have not finished GraphCom, I feel strangely confident about it. Hmm..

One thing you MIGHT not want to know about me: My best friend's a pillow. A Blue one at that. From Ikea. Go figure.

Percy Pig biscuits that Brother got for me are delightfully delicious, and extremely fattening at the same time. Comfort food of the more pure kind.

Anyhow, gym today was a disaster. I knew not going for so long would be bad. But I plan to go tomorrow and on Friday! Press on Bryan!

GraphCom is coming along fine. Everyone seems stressed except for me. And this coming from the guy who won't have Friday night and the Weekend to study.

Highlight of today of course was lunch with GuGu and family. We sure can eat. Had lunch at Sushi Tei and I was all saintly music and light from above when GuGu uttered the words, "Eat anything. Lunch is on me." So we ate. And ate. We went to Starbucks after that, and had grat chats. The cool thing about my family is how food somehow brings us together (MaMa house on Fridays), ties us together (We all love food to the max) and bonds us (We just love to tell each other about food, food and more food). I like you know! Food's one of the best things God has created. Imagine we were like Plants with photosynthesis and all. Urgh.

Onto Logo Concepts!

Finally, I am 17! I am one more year closer to...

Mel(vin) taking me places.
Spain.
Buying the beer instead of hiding behind Mel(vin) every time at the SuperMarket.
Nightlife, though I wonder if it's actually worth the wait.


For now though, I am to focus on the school work at hand and make advancements of the GraphCom kind.


I'm stressed all right, but friends like Justin, Sharon and Maryse make life a whole lot better. Thanks guys, you don't know how much that celebration meant to me.

My good family too, you guys made yesterday's dinner one to remember. Especially Dad, you came through with the food, as you always do with everything else.

To all the people who wished me (sorry again as I lost my phone numbers!) and the gifts they brought me, I thank you. Everything's very, very much appreciated.

And to God, for tiding me through the past year. From 'O' Levels, to Results, to JPSAE, to school. From the walks in the morning, for the joys that You're bringing, thank you. Thank You.



As for everything else, things come, things go. People change, feelings fade. The End of what seemed to me as A Nearly Happy Ending.

But like always, we move on, the dust settles and the leaves fall. And we continue walking! Maybe a few years down the road, we'll look back, and think of what could have been. Maybe.


God, Family, Friends, Love.
For all that's happened, it's been a darn good 17 years. We'd never change a thing.

The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to keep still - Exodus 14:14




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