My Song Is Love

Whatever happened to the old, fun and unpredictable you?

Or maybe I was too clouded to notice, that all along, you've been this.

A change of perspective. A different hope.

Chinese New Year has been, in a word, Guilty. My constant companions, Pineapple Tart, Peanut Roll and Ba Kua, have threatened ruin me. But I like them so.

I cannot help but feel bad that I am looking extremely forward to getting my share of my Ang Bao money (long story about why I don't get all of it). Especially after seeing Shu Shu's ang bao.

And Melly, we all know who James (and the Giant Peach) is. You do not have to try being subtle.

I read on Melly's blog, something about putting Kodok into a soup. Mmm, there's hope now.

The day is/was pretty uneventful. I did pose as a porn addict for someone IAC video though! Catch me if you can!

Reunion dinner is tomorrow. must.play.mahjong.control.impulse.

So, we have to re-do the website. It ain't that bad lah, considering that we only spent a few hours on the website.

This weekend I shall,

Do up Marketing Slides. Finalize the FP script and attempt to plan a meeting to plan shots. RETURN ALL MONEY I OWE PEOPLE. Gym with my new found motivation. Try to design a un-chintzy looking banner for the new site. Organize a Marketing meeting for next week. Attempt to do some Locvid notes.

And of course...

Eat. A lot. And collect the money that will see me through the long holiday. BWAY HWAY HWAY.

Melly seems kinda serious about pausing school. Oh man...that'd be cool, to walk around alone. Like a nomad. Will miss terrorizing Kodok though.

Bryan's Dreamweaver Song



I got,
Five pages of websites to go,
All of 'em empty as holes.
I have,
Five pages of websites to go,
Time 15 to 1 ain't helping at all,

Dreamweaver, Oh Dreaweavaar!
Dreamweaver, Oh Dreaweavaar!
Crazy, lazy, I get stuck here.
Irritating, head's on fire,
Saaaaave me.
Dreamweaver.

I got,
Five pages of websites to go,
You're like some big black hole,
I have,
Five pages of websites to go,
You hate what I put so...

Dreamweaver, Oh Dreaweavaar!
Dreamweaver, Oh Dreaweavaar!
Crazy, lazy, I get stuck here.
Irritating, head's on fire,
Saaaaave me.
Dreamweaver.

Oh Dreamweaver,
Dreaweaver!
Oh Dreamweaver,
Dreamweaver!
Dreamweaver....
Dreamweaver....

Just! Fucking! Weave! My! Site!

Already!

Many's the time I ran with you down.
The rainy roads of your old town.
Many the lives we lived in each day.
And buried altogether.

Don't laugh at me!
Don't look away!

You'll follow me back
With the sun in your eyes
And on your own.
Bedshaped.
And legs of stone.
You'll knock on my door
And up we'll go
In white light.
I don't think so.
But what do I know?
What do I know?
I know!

I know you think I'm holding you down.
And I've fallen by the wayside now.
And I don't understand the same things as you.
But I do.

Don't laugh at me!
Don't look away!

You'll follow me back
With the sun in your eyes
And on your own.
Bedshaped.
And legs of stone.
You'll knock on my door
And up we'll go
In white light.
I don't think so.
But what do I know?
What do I know?
I know!

And up we'll go
In white light.
I don't think so.
But what do I know?
What do I know?
I know!




I used to skip this song each time it played on iTunes of iPod. But now, I realize, how meaningful it is and how apt it is about that facet of my life in the past few years. The feelings, sad and angry.

This is oddly...familiar.

We have an entire Website to do up by Friday. Editing Test is on Thursday and I know peanuts about Final Cut. There is Marketing MCQ (yes it is only 5% but it matters) on Friday to study for. And LocVid is in the back of my head. Including the Marketing Presentation Slides. Not to mention rehersals.

All these will culminate in 2 weeks time, when we have our Final Presentation.

And then, we have huge ass exams for LocVid and Medsoc. I've heard that Marketing exam is off. Let's hope that it's true.

But amidst all this furore (is that even the correct word to use), I feel strangely confident. That everything will be fine.


Look up, look up, and I look to You.




Somehow, I found this on YouTube. I don't know how long it has been around, but...tuts my barreh!

Trust Us, We Lie.


It's not very good for both parties I guess, when we have our own different standards on what's right and what's wrong. And when we seem to interpret things differently. And when what we remember always seem to clash. And more importantly, that we are both highly competitive people. Ouch.

Today saw me editing my video at Em's place. Thanks for the help! And now, I leave you with this...





Wah...Haute Couture much.

So, so glad that we settled on something.

THANK YOU LORD!

You earn the big bucks,
Your hands are all cash,
While I'm just sweating and drowning in my bad luck looking for a hopeless grasp.
You and your wish list,
Self made on self pride,
I feel like everything I ever did and every little thing ain't ever worked out right.

To anyone who reads my blog and has aspirations to join Ngee Ann's Mass Communication course.

IT CAN KEEEEL YOU.

HELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELP!

I don't know shizz about Final Cut. I need help. Someone? ANYONE? D:

Suddenly, you do this. Not funny, but I guess living on a diet of humble pie isn't going to kill me.

Two can play at this game darling.

We are two weeks away from our presentation, and suddenly Melly wants to play and "have fun" with the project.

WHAT THE FUCK!

It doesn't help that I suddenly realize how little time we're left with. And that Melly is the creative brain in our group. Stupid...



While digging through all my files, I came across this picture.

Oh man, I remember how fun it was. Especially those after school soccer sessions. Let's join Adidas Challenge '09. If there is any lah.

I was looking at some younger ex-schoolmate's blogs just now and it has struck me how much we (my batch) have changed since coming out of the Secondary and into the Tertiary. Most of that change is for the better of course.

I also noticed everyone seems to be kinda down. Either with school starting, projects, or life problems what not. Well, I have decided to try and help. With the following photo.



That's me all right. Now whether you're horrified or laughing, I bet that took your mind of the other stuff for a moment. Heh, mission accomplished.

There can be miracles, when you believe.
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill.
Who knows what miracles you can achieve?
When you believe, somehow you will.
You will when you believe.

"you may not like everything i listen to, or anything for that matter"

I remember some time back,before the mid-sem break, at the start of this semester from hell, Melly and I decided to come up with an "it" word. Like y'know, something that would catch on with people. Like the words "bleak", "epic" or "fail". At least, we thought that those were the "it" words lah.

We ended up not succeeding but suddenly thinking of the incident made me laugh. Oh how hard we tried. And we so desperate that we even came up with stupid words. Like "ugg". How bad it would've been if we actually used that word.

"Oh man, that project ah, damn ugg"



Brother and I ran just now. It is heartening to know that he is such a motivated person. It has been a good day.

A gypsy told my fortune and I told her her's,
I said:
"You'll die high in the mountain wrapped in silver furs,
You'll be looking for your lover in the midnight sun,
And you'll perish for your lover when the frost has begun"


I pray that's not what's going to happen to me. Really.


Was watching Ugly Betty last night and it sort of struck me that although it's Singapore, and everything's less glam here than in the US, a job in the media will force me to make some tough choices.

Most of all, Family or Work.

If I were to achieve my dream of being a work-at-home editor stationed in France/London/New York then how can I have my family? Must keep up-rooting, and then the lifestyle I'll have...not very family-esque. And knowing me, as it is I find it quite difficult to keep with commitments. What more when I'm out living the "media" life?

What disappoints and troubles me is that I have a feeling I will choose the parties, people and politics more than a family.

Life is becoming increasingly monotonous. If it is not homework (which I have a lot of but am not doing) then it is gym, if not that then it is the computer, and if not I do not really know.

I could turn to the Guitar, but the string is out and time isn't on my side (or maybe I just am not good at managing it) to allow me to go get new ones.

I need to find something to do that doesn't involve money and doesn't require another person. Something like fishing. I wish now I stayed somewhere near Changi. Dad always used to go fishing there. How about swimming? Or maybe I could start making paper models again.

Or...how about I start doing my homework?

Live fast, die young. Oh, how I wish, I wish.

Yesterday was Justin's party.

The food was good, and though I didn't get to drink as much as expected, the company was fantastic. Above all, that smirk on Justin's face when he opened my gift was enough to make me going down all worth while.

Enjoy 18 Justin.

My office glows, all night long.
It's a nuclear show, and the stars are gone.
Elevator, elevator, take me home.

Don't go.
Say you'll stay.
Spend a lazy Sunday in my arms,
I won't take anything away.




Here I am, feeling quite disgusted with the hygiene levels of myself and stuck with a pile of work to do before tomorrow. Either I find some serious motivation now, or I'll let a lot of people down.

I don't know if I should skip MedSoc tomorrow. If I do skip, things'll be a lot easier. But I just saw Sonia today. And she gave me THAT smile. Sigh...But I so do want everyone to have the nametags.

Oh well, here's to hoping Justin likes the present. And to hoping Cheryl and guys won't get angry that I don't intend to share in Dorita's present. And to perhaps..many other things.












MORE SOON

I'm feeling pretty horrid right now because lecture hall is really cold, MedSoc is really draggy, I cannot get on a roll for Marketing and I am pretty embarrassed, by the state of my out-of-control hair.

Why am I complaing, I also don't know.

I did it. My first purchase of an "expensive" item.
Now let me wallow, in a deep, deep pool of pity for myself and my wallet.

Mmm, whatcha say,
Mmm, that you only meant well?
Well of course you did.
Mmm, whatcha say,
Mmm, that it's all for the best?
Of course it is.
Mmm, whatcha say?
Mmm, that it's just what we need.
You decided this.
Mmm, whatcha say?
Mmm, what did you say?

Bryan feels like shizz now.

I will drown myself in work.


Hide and Seek-Imogen Heap - Frou Frou

This is probably what I am feeling now. Distaste, that you were the one responsible.

It's not what I should be feeling.

WARNING THE FOLLOWING IMAGES MAY CAUSE MILD IRRITATION OF THE EYES. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.






HAHA. We found some old shirts and started fooling around.

Ye-Gads! NOW I am really scared!

And all this time I thought things were reeaallly simple and nice and homely and whatever word you use to describe a lack of drama/action.

SHIELDS UP!

"These feelings are true and pure and strong and from these comes the most beautiful literature of our time" - Aunt

She never fails to inspire.

I do not have the courage to walk into a "Branded" store alone. Fuck this.

Have been spending the past 2 days at home, away from the outside world. I must say it's been interesting. It's as if...I'm trying to save all my "Going Out" time and energy for next week. I am excited. I will not be let down.

In no proper order,

I watched Cinderella and Princess Diaries with Brother, laughed for a good 5 minutes when I saw that Melly went to watch "Poyo and the Sea" or something like that, talked about the great taste of fish food to Denise and Cheryl till my phone dropped and got scratched, found a new favorite song, realized my new wallet already has a scratch, cleared my room, tried to muster the discipline to do work and above all made the grass in the lawn catch fire when I played Flamethrower with Brother this afternoon.

Heck, we even have a nightly running trips now. Maybe, Brother has grown up. It is fun to have a sibling who's on the same frequency as you. Haha, he likes The Grates too. Awesomezx.

What change a year can bring.

OK, Mother is cooking noodles now. It is 1am. It has been a loooong time since we had Supper. Youlikeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

I need new strings. Someone help me buy?

My current favourite song. Man...


Speeding Cars - Imogen Heap

I get very irritated each time I think about it because, I dislike what you've become but yet I'm still stuck in the time when I first knew you. And it's not like I didn't ask why things are this way, but you just don't want to tell me.

Sometimes I look at all these "problems" you're having and I wonder if you ever know that maybe it could be because of what you are. I hope you know what your faults are. Man, what I'd give to tell you. But I guess that'll just have to wait. Till the right time. Come to think about it, I did try to tell you once. That backfired badly. But I can't just ignore it you know?


On a lighter note, I hope Stars will play Take Me To The Riot and Tonight come Wednesday. Time really flies. I bought the tickets in October and the concerts in couple'o days time. Sigh..we need to slow down and sit by the sea on a cliff with a plate of shortbread, a jug of apple juice, a guitar and no inhibitions. Sounds like Spain to me.

And Justin, I hope you know how hard I'm working just to locate your present. *TOOTHYGRIN*

The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to keep still - Exodus 14:14




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Designer: Jan