We dance, we steal things.

2009-11-14T09:01:00.001-08:00

Taking a break from blogger (you have served me well) and trying out this Tumblr thing that everyone's using. Conformity, it is I.

2009-11-13T08:29:00.000-08:00

Hello fun-filled weekends :D

2009-11-12T16:16:00.000-08:00

"When ah grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna have groupiess"

2009-11-11T04:47:00.001-08:00

What am I doing to myself.

2009-11-10T10:49:00.001-08:00

"Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts"

2009-11-10T09:36:00.001-08:00

test test

2009-11-10T07:48:00.000-08:00

well. Emotional Insecurity 2009

2009-11-07T07:28:00.001-08:00

Well, I for one still do.

Anyhow, what would you put into a box of motivation?

2009-11-06T08:31:00.000-08:00

"RIGHT IMA JUST GONNA ROLL ONTO MUH BED..YEAH THAT'S IT..AND SLEEEP...MMM. THIS IS THE HOTSAUCE"

2009-11-05T06:22:00.000-08:00

I'm supposed to be coming up with a poem about some flower carrier right now, but have once again exercised my supreme tendency to procrastinate and though I would very much prefer to have a little more action to my life, there are more important things than that.

Melly and Melvin, we need to be here. Perhaps even make "Freedom" happen here. Ducks and Tomatoes.

Melly, you'll go with me right? January 10th please come soon!

You'll do just fine.

2009-11-05T04:36:00.000-08:00

"So we made our own computer
Out of macaroni pieces
And it did our thinking while we lived our lives
It counted up our feelings
And divided them up even
And it called that calculation perfect love"

Ahh Regina Spektor's lyrics never fail to impress

2009-11-03T08:34:00.001-08:00

Let me in.

2009-10-30T05:30:00.000-07:00

I envisioned a more cheery Friday night. Not one where I'm at home listening to Chiodos. Not that I mind listening to them of course.

2009-10-28T04:51:00.000-07:00

MELLY

SORRY. CAN'T RESIST.

2009-10-25T17:39:00.001-07:00

Go go Arsenal! We can catch that Chelsea!

2009-10-23T21:32:00.001-07:00

"It's an escaped fugitive experiment from Cokatoo Island somewhere in Australia or something and it's a mutant frog grown in a cloth sack with special micro-camera eyes with transmissions to Nazis to spy on how Singaporeans live and O.L.L.I.E. stands for Operation Longfully Lovable International Eyes. And he can be remote mutated into a giant frog. Yes yes. Why do you think Mel keeps him in a Ralph Lauren outfit all day? Hey, the Nazis know class man, and the Nazis know what an expensive outfit is. And the Nazis don't wanna be spying on a family struck by the financial crisis because of a torn shirt because of a premature detonation. He's all over the planet, and Mel's making the mistake of not turning him over for a sweet $1,000,000 (One million if you're slow although I'm not implying anything.) which is exactly why I keep him in check by throwing him into the dryer and washing machine as frequently as I can to short-circuit the cameras in his eyes. Once, Mel sent him for restuffing in the Esplanade, but the lady was a Nazi agent spy, she said 'zhe ge... wo yi wei bu ke yi leh, zhe shi ge qing wa leh, tai chang le...' (This... I think cannot leh, this is a frog leh, too long already.) but I know, I see it in her eyes. She implants the cameras in every bear/frog/dog/pig she receives for restuffing. BEWARE THE FROG. BEWARE THE COMPANION (Companion means stuffed toys but they don't like that so stick with companion or they'll cry and you know what that means.) COMMUNITY ESPECIALLY IF THEY'RE FROM GERMANY ALTHOUGH MY STEIFF BEAR IS SAFE I'VE SENT HIM FOR BEAR TO BEAR THERAPY AND HE'S FINE. You can post this on your blog and stuff. But make it clear we know the Nazi special operation. I heard their designing something new.... Remote control hamburgers of DEAATHHHH. Spread the word. Now, so start building your resistance so that the OLLIES don't take over the world! (Secondly, dude, look at his head, that's a perfect fit for a Nazi helmet.)"

HAHA nicholas lam wei xiang you are by far the most interesting primary 5 boy i've known. its time we met for soccer!

2009-10-22T08:48:00.000-07:00

You have no idea how much I have to say to you. But for fear that I chase you away, I keep silent.

2009-10-21T08:04:00.000-07:00

2009-10-21T07:58:00.000-07:00

I just know I was right about you

2009-10-20T03:58:00.000-07:00

You should know that I'm petty insecure. I hope that new post on your blog isn't regarding our friendship. Because I honestly feel that I'm trying. But if you think its not enough, and that I should be doing more, then tell me. Please.

2009-10-18T09:05:00.001-07:00

I think we've all been guilty of this some time or another in life.

2009-10-18T07:28:00.001-07:00

We need to get to know each other again all over. I'll start.

"Hi, I'm Bryan!"

2009-10-17T23:26:00.001-07:00

Rediscovered my love for The Corrs while going through iTunes! Champion band :D

She lived like she knew nothing lasts
Didn't care to look like anyone else
And she was beautiful, so beautiful
I still hear her laugh like she's here

Shower it down on all the young
It isn't so wrong to have such fun...

Forever angel, I hope they love you like we do
Forever angel, I'll be proud to be like you
Be like you (I'll be proud to be like you)

Does the sun shine up at you when you're looking down?
Do you get along with the others around?

It's got to be better than before
You don't need to worry now you're gone...

Forever angel, I hope they love you like we do
Forever angel, I'll be proud to be like you
Be like you, just like you...

And when I go to sleep at night
I'll thank you for each blessed thing surrounding me
For every fall I'll ever break
Each moment's breath I wanna taste
Confidence and conscience, decadent extravangance
Never ending providence, for loving when I had the chance

(Tin whistle interlude)

Angel, I hope they love you like we do
Forever angel, I'll be proud to be like you
Forever angel, I'll be proud to be like you
Be like you
I'll be proud to be like you

2009-10-17T10:41:00.000-07:00

Fantastic song :)

2009-10-16T21:36:00.001-07:00

Focus.

2009-10-15T11:15:00.000-07:00

Le sigh song! Mr Sarkozy is a very lucky man.

In english, the song means....

I’m told that our lives aren’t worth much,
They pass like an instant, like wilting roses.
I’m told that time slipping by is a bastard
Making its coat of our sorrows.
Yet someone told me…

That you still loved me
Someone told me…
That you still loved me.
Well ? Could that be possible?

I’m told that fate makes fun of us,
That it gives us nothing and promises everything,
When happiness seems to be within our reach,
We reach out and find ourselves like fools.
Yet someone told me…

That you still loved me
Someone told me…
That you still loved me.
Well ? Could that be possible?

Well ? Could that be possible?

So who said that you still loved me?
I don’t remember any more, it was late at night,
I can still hear the voice, but I can no longer see the face,
“He loves you, it’s secret, don’t tell him I told you.”
You see, someone told me

That you still loved me
Did someone really tell me?
That you still loved me
Well, could that be possible?

I’m told that our lives aren’t worth much,
Passing in an instant, like wilting roses,
I’m told that time slipping by is a bastard,
Making its coat of our sadnesses.

That you still loved me
Someone told me…
That you still loved me.
Well ? Could that be possible?

2009-10-15T11:00:00.001-07:00

2009-10-15T10:36:00.000-07:00

"Sep 28

-

going on a cruise down the 3 gorges, learning chinese history, going for calligraphy classes, buying cheap guitars and jamming late at night, eating good chinese food, going shopping, climbing mountains…

Dang Bryan! i would rather stay in China no matter how horrible things can turn out like spiders all over, lousy internet connection and speaking mandrin than do Alevels.. i dont feel like going back to mugging mode. "

But now that I'm back home, I'm going to try my very best to make this trying time that little bit more bearable for you.

2009-10-15T08:23:00.000-07:00

I want to help out - some way, any way.

2009-10-14T01:37:00.000-07:00

This is one of those things that make me feel that, although I don't go to church anymore and have almost lost all hope in what man has done to religion, God is very much real in my life and He loves me for who and what I am.

And for that I am extremely, and ever thankful

2009-10-14T01:17:00.000-07:00

HAIR

Those who wash their hair first are the artistic type. Daydreaming is your hobby but you can achieve what most other people cannot. Dedication is lacking but you will work tirelessly towards goals which are to your liking. Money is not important to you. Friends are but only intellectuals and fellow artistic types. You make the best lover as you are most willing to explore and please your partner. Talent is your main strength. Your best partner in life will be those who chose chest.

CHEST

Those who wash their chest first are the practical type. You are straightforward and do not beat around the bush. To you, convenience is of paramount importance. You hate to be distracted when concentrating and are impatient with people who do not see things your way. You’re a good lover and willing to try new things. Your best partner in life will be those who chose hair.

ARMPITS

Those who wash their armpits first are dependable and hard working. Generally a very popular person as you are very down to earth and willing to help others. You tend to get yourself into trouble as you cannot tell whether people are genuine towards you. You are the working type with average talent. Your best partner in life will be those who chose shoulders.

FACE

To those who wash their face first money is important and you will do anything to get it. Integrity and dignity is not important. You feel that friends are there to be used and life is one big hassle. Other people find it hard to understand you but you are not concerned as to what they think. You are a very self-centered person. You’re an average lover as you tend to be absorbed in self pleasure at the expense of your partner. Your best partner in life will be those who chose other.

SHOULDERS

Those who wash their shoulders first are very responsible. You work hard at everything you attempt. People often think you’re stuck up as you tend to spend your time alone. You are very dedicated and make friends for life once others get to know you. Money and power are fairly important to you. You make a faithful lover and tend to be faithful for life. Your best partner in life will be those who chose armpits.

GENITALS

Those who wash “other parts” first are very average. Undoubtedly, you have your inner strengths but people find it hard to see. You must learn to be a little bit more adventurous and sell your potential. Deep down, you are a very likeable person with very few faults. However, the key will be to make your strengths stand out and not just hide your weaknesses. You are an average lover. You have great fantasies about different techniques but unfortunately are not brave enough to try them out. Your best partner in life will be those who chose face.

I wash my Hair first.

2009-10-14T00:47:00.000-07:00

I find it highly stupid that I'm letting myself get so affected by this...non-existent problem (at least that's what the person thinks)

2009-10-13T09:06:00.000-07:00

"That children is a Veronica! Note the distinct guffaw and crossed eyes. What a pretty sight!"

Hello Vkoh, thought that since I did GMH posts for Eme and Michelle, and a touching, nostalgic post for Em, that I should do a post for you as well, just to y'know...round up my bout of EVEM appreciation.

We were in the same class last sem but only started talking when the news of my liking of eme EXPLODED and got out of hand, with the two teams and the bets.

Its been a pretty long time since that incident, with you offering advice and a listening ear via skypechat when the whole saga was near its end, but whatever the case, you're one of the few people i know who can be both a joke and serious when the time calls for it. It's something I admire, and what makes you a goooooooooooooooooooooooooooood friend (and editor).

K, that's all. Here's to appreciating you Vkoh! (now go tickle your under-chin)

2009-10-12T07:51:00.000-07:00

To MamLing - beast, overall joke, song partner, and great friend.

Yes, I didn't do a GMH post for you, but that doesn't mean you're any less important to me than than eme and michelle.

From thinking you're some kool kid in FMS Orientation, to being in the same IS class, to your Pubic Hair Hair days, to Stars, to writing songs, to Wuhan, and till now, you've been one of my most important friends in school, and one that I'll treasure for life. Getting to know you is something I'll be ever thankful for, and you're one of the few things that makes going to school something to look forward too.

I appreciate you very much em, and the friendship we share really GMH. :D

2009-10-11T19:34:00.000-07:00

Currently addicted to...

2009-10-11T19:19:00.001-07:00

Obligatory, 2-day late "I'm Back!" Post

In point, Wuhan was...

- Lying on the living room mat, playing FM till 3am in the morning, showing each other imba youth players, ordering macs, watching kok movies like "Zoo" and "Sex Sells", hearing ben foam at roaches, and the balcony bonfire. Le sigh...

- FoodFoodSCALLOPSFoodFoodREGANMIANFoodFoodDONGHUDUMPLINGFoodFood

- BEVEM and friendships that GMH

- Money wastage on stuff like my Panda Hat ( :D:D:D:D:D:D)

- Fantastic

I'll remember everything and all of this trip, but the one thing that made me the happiest honestly, was you showing me that there is still hope and giving me something to hold onto.

Bryan the man Lion

2009-10-05T13:03:00.000-07:00

Hi Bryan,

Our friendship GMH.

Love always,
Eme the Ham

2009-10-05T12:20:00.000-07:00

1.) I know it isn't easy for you, trying to juggle a friendship and a relationship between two parties who have bad blood between each other. It sucks more that a compromise seems ever so hard to reach. But the fact that you're still trying to GMH.

2.) Everyday I make fun of the lines your ex-boyfriend used on you, the clothes you wear, your appearance, basically everything that I notice about you without ever stopping to think how it could hurt you. But the fact that you still try your absolute best to keep your cool and be patient with me as a friend GMH.

Guys, just want you to know I really appreciate you both. :)

2009-09-17T14:06:00.000-07:00

Wuhan through the lens of a D70

Hello joan! Told you I'd find a way to get the pictures to you! There're actually many many more pictures, but I just picked a few random ones for this post. The rest, I'll show you over ben and jerry's when I get home :D

(the photos are a little jumbled up. sorry!)

Spiciest cup noodles I've ever had! This was our staple food for the first week before we had the electric cooker and the fridge.

And we still manage to get our weekly soccer fix over here in China :D

Playing against one of the teams at the court. This team was from Laos I think.

And this is our dorm's kitchen! It looks really sparse and all in this picture, but that's cause this was taken during the first week. The kitchen's changed a lot since then, but since I haven't taken a picture of it since then as well, I can't show you. Will take photo of current kitchen for you soon!

Yes, this is our living room, circa Week 1. All that clutter you see on the floor was our grocery shopping from the first week (already long used). Like our kitchen the living room has changed a lot from what you see in this pic.

Finally a food photo! This is a fried rice store at the Shi Men Kou food market, and it serves the BEST non-homecooked fried rice I've ever had!

This was at the night market outside the University we're staying at. They serve mainly BBQ food, and I tell you, everything is really goood. It's not very clear but I'm eating char kway tiao, squid, zuchinni, and mushrooms in the picture. And this was towards the end of our meal! Imagine the amount of food when we first started! Om nom nom nom

This is some fried udon noodle thingy from the awesome tepenyaki place I told you about. Doesn't look like much here but it tastes good lah.

Ah! These dishes I like better! They're from the same tepenyaki place, and again, they taste super. Those yellow, slug-like things you see to the right of the pic are actually bananas, cooked Japanese style. Verrry good. I shall TRY to make some for you when I get home.

If you walk around in Wuhan, you'll notice that the men here always roll their shirts up to just above their bellies. Don't ask me why though..

In Wuhan, anywhere can be your bedroom.

This is another store from the Shi Men Kou food market. It sells BBQ-ed meat and like the fried rice store, this store is awesome. The lamb meat kebob is the best. I bought like 10 I think, hahaha. TRY to smuggle one home for you!

This is the awesome fried rice from the awesome fried rice store at Shi Men Kou.

This is Lotus Root soup! Very different from the kind we have in Singapore though. This one is very salty but still very fragrant. Lovvvit!

And that's about all the photos blogger and the internet here is letting me upload (my firefox just lags when I try to upload more) :/ I'll try to upload more over the next few days though!

2009-08-25T08:35:00.000-07:00

TIMES ARE A CHANGING.

So are we. I just didn't think it feel so...normal? Envisioned it to be a more painful process.

Oh well, I guess it's just reflective the situation at hand.

Shopping tmrw with Mother. I hope, no, I need to find my jeans or I am screwed for Wuhan. "Smart Casual", said Mrs Sng.

I think its kinda evident that I have a *mild* case of Bigorexia. But...no harm done so far I guess.

Commiss is near completion but not done. Procrastination, h8chuu4lyf.

2009-08-24T00:04:00.001-07:00

I will come back better.

2009-08-21T22:18:00.001-07:00

Everyone's down about the Wuhan trip :/

2009-08-21T10:36:00.001-07:00

Coldplay - Till Kingdom Come

Still my heart and hold my tongue
I feel my time
My time has come
Let me in
Unlock the door
I never felt this way before

And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummer begins to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know which way I’ve come

Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For you I’ve waited all these years

For you I’d wait 'til kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

In your tears and in your blood
In your fire and in your flood
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing
I wouldn’t change a single thing
And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummers begin to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know what I’ve become

For you I’d wait 'til kingdom come
Until my days, my days are done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

Story of my life so far.

Just so you know, waiting for you has become life for me.

2009-08-21T09:22:00.000-07:00

Guys, let me introduce you to my current favourite song.

"Well here it is again, can you make it to the end of a, of a, of a...."

2009-08-20T00:16:00.001-07:00

So often we tend to complicate
Refusing to dedicate,
To the simple simplicity,
That is Life.

Perhaps this simplicity,
Is just duplicity?
Oh don't get me wrong,
We live in a beautiful world,
But there's so much wrong,
We don't see.

So much so, that the beauty
Seems like duplicity

And if this simplicity,
Is just duplicity,
Then why should we dedicate to it,
And refuse to complicate?

After all, duplicity just makes for complexity.

THIS is life,
The questioning, the arguing,
Between you,
And yourself.

2009-08-16T08:24:00.000-07:00

Blogger's going nuts and so is Mum I think. The pressure of not having the maid here for the next 2 weeks must be taking its toll. Or..it could just be that time of the month again. She's reaching 50. I will be understanding.

Day 3 of the study break and I have yet to pick a single book up.

I work well with you on my side.

Come, run away with me, where we'll see.
From what we've grown part of lately..
So, come onto my side, oh won't you see,
That I need you so, my

Love,
Of the brightest,
And the purest,

We,
Were made to be,
As one.

2009-08-14T03:19:00.000-07:00

And with that, the semester ends! Well, not entirely, I mean, there's still exams and Wuhan or course.

Definitely the most eventful semester so far. And I admit, I've changed through it. Will have to do some soul-searching in the build-up to the exam.

Find out where I went wrong, find out how I can go back to where I once was.

2009-08-13T17:26:00.001-07:00

Karma is bound to get me one day, for the thoughts I have in my head.

2009-08-10T19:03:00.000-07:00

WAHHH BLOGGER FINALLY ALLOWS ME TO POST PHOTOS.

on the other hand, mu facebook is still screwing with me.

So here I am in school, at 10am, on a SCHOOL-LESS tuesday. Why? Because I had to do some kok INE presentation (which went better than expected).

Thus, I am stuck here, waiting till 3.30pm, when the webD people will come and we shall rehearse. Not like I have any lack of things to do though. PR's still not done. Oh well, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Chairlift will accompany me through my slaving.

On a totally un-related note, here're the highlight of this morning's newswriting rush...

SSSSSSSScoreeeee! Damn happy! Now, I'll continue at Nerg Plains till I hit 11mil points and its off to Elub Shore for some shell-hunting :D

This blog is turning into some Mousehunt Diary for me. I seriously think I'll suffer from withdrawal syndrome while away in Wuhan.

Well, at least I have a cousin like Zihui.

2009-08-09T10:01:00.000-07:00

I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do headstands for you
Everytime I fell on you, yeah everytime I fell
I tried to do handstands but everytime I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for

You-ooo etc...
For you-ooo etc...
So black and blue-oooo etc...
For you-ooo etc...

2009-08-09T05:49:00.000-07:00

Haven't been updating lately. Work and Mousehunt have gotten the better of me.

Work-wise, we're pretty much all right. WebD is practically done. All we need is some content and our group photo for the "About Us" page. Not forgetting the presentation rehearsal. Let's get this done and over with guys!

News is good. I've gotten my psychiatrist interview (kudos to Elise's dad)! So have everything I need to start writing except the motivation to. Got. To. Finish. Soon.

PR is going to take up my entire Day-After-National-Day public holiday and the rest of the week. Hopefullyyyy I'll be able to put together something decent.

And after that, it's hxc studying for ze zams.

As for Mousehunt, I'm sounding the horn as often as I can now, in an attempt to catch that Grandfather mouse with the vines. Without it, my plans for MH while I'm in Wuhan will not materialize. What's my plan?

Well..after I get the vine, I'm going to camp in Nerg Plains and hunt the heck out for more gold. Before I leave, I shall spend EVERYTHING I have on Gouda, and rush the 6 weeks inside Nerg Plains, gaining gold and points many many in the process.

IF I don't get that vine, I'll just camp in the Lab, get as many RB pots as possible and then go back to hunting for the vine when I am back in Singapore. C'mon there's nothing, bad about RB pots! More RB pots, will help when I eventually decide to hunt my Acolyte.

Now, I don't know if this is still a blogpost or has deteoriated into a self-reminded note. Better stop here. Mum wants me to watch Shutter with her. She says she's scared.

2009-08-03T08:56:00.000-07:00

You need to get a grip.

What makes your opinion more worthy of listening to than other's?

Being here longer doesn't make give you a right to be harsher you know, and if you still choose to be, I don't see why people shouldn't get upset with you.

2009-08-03T08:29:00.001-07:00

To the few of you: stop thinking so much. It's quite obvious.

To YOU: pushing it ah....

2009-08-02T06:22:00.001-07:00

A warning sign,
I missed the good part then I realized,
I started looking and the bubble burst.
I started looking for excuses.

Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.

A warning sign,
You came back to haunt me and I realized
you were an island and I passed you by,
You were an island to discover.

Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.

And I'm tired,
I should not have let you go.

So I crawl back into your open arms.
Yes, I crawl back into your open arms.
And I crawl back into your open arms.
Yes, I crawl back into your open arms...

2009-07-30T07:09:00.000-07:00

I guess its escapism for you guys out there. Don't you get it! It's not so simple being a manager! It's not like, "Oh I think that's a good player, let's get him"! Like any community, there are issues behind the scenes that we, the people on the outside, do not know of. Take that into consideration before you diss the man who brought us from mediocrity to where we are now. It was his hard work that caused all of you guys to have such high expectations of the team and now that we're going through a rough patch, you turn around and bite him? How many of you would even be supporting the club if it were not for where he brought us to! Call yourself true fans. True fans stick through thick and thin with their team. There are big teams who have gone much worse than us (Junventus got relegated but their fans stuck with them and whoop-de-do their on the rise now)! THINK about the underlying matters before you give your piddy comment next time.

2009-07-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

Today, I am the suck. One and a half bottles of Hoegarrden and I've been having a headache since 6 hours ago. FML.

2009-07-28T03:52:00.000-07:00

Blogger's finally letting me post stuff. Here's what's been going on thus far in the winding roads of my life.

- Got into the Wuhan trip. Am trying to remain optimistic about this one.
- Have not gymed in 3 weeks and counting because of the traditionally insane sem-end workload.
- WebD, taking over my life
- INE, worrying me as I do not know how things'll turn out.

Personally, I think the gym's what bothering me the most. Urgh. Glad to see that WebD is all coming together nicely though.

You know, you guys should learn to let him go. I mean, 15 minutes for a project meeting outside of home? Seriously. Then what happens when he goes into tertiary education? Stayover meetings? Believe me, they are not unusual. He's Secondary 3, he's turning 15 this September. Give him a little credit. He may be the "youngest" in your minds, but that doesn't mean he is in fact. Time to let him experience the world for himself. I wouldn't blame him if he had to fight for his freedom you know? Because that's what I did and I don't regret it. You guys are great parents, but you need to learn to lax. Your kids'll grow up, and they'll start seem more distant, but such is the growing up process and I guess, to put it bluntly, you have to accept it. You can't just expect him to "boom!" go out into the world on his own ONLY at 21 and survive right? It's a learning curve. It can get harsh, but it's one that he must undertake. You'll probably just diss my opinion, seeing how you guys are still sore about the way that I got my freedom. But hey, look at it from our point of view. Cast aside the veil that your love for him has created around your eyes and see that someday, we all grow up and blow away. Getting angry over that won't work because freedom is a basic human right, and it is instinct for one to fight for the amount of it he or she deems fair. If you don't let go, you'll just end up hurting everyone, including yourselves. Have a little more faith in your kids.

2009-07-19T07:32:00.001-07:00

Best Coldplay song ever.

2009-07-19T07:29:00.000-07:00

For some reason this picture kracks me up.

I am turning this blogger, bit by bit, into a Tumblr. So much for non-conformity. HAH.

Variety and fun, I need you guys in my life soon.

I also need to start on Newswriting soon, if I am ever to see my dreams of SPH come thru.

2009-07-19T05:39:00.000-07:00

(ignore Calgo the fact is I like this picture)

I'm reading this book now, which revolves around 3 central characters. One of them has an inferiority complex after living in the shadow of her sister's horribly beautiful looks. One of them is aesthetically perfect, beautiful in every possible physical way, but has a sex addiction. The last one, was fine to begin with, but deteriorated, into a monstrosity, after her insecurity that she may never find love began to consume her.

Somehow, and I say this with a tinge of remorse, I feel that I am like the Third.

I find myself, constantly wondering why, through my 18 years of existence, have I not been able to find love despite me trying, imo, very hard. It is the reason why I gym, it is the reason why I try to perfect, using society's standard as a guide, myself. To you, you think this is superficial. So fake. Like I'm trying to be someone I am not just because I want to find another significant half. That's what the people in the book say of the Third girl as well. But I can identify with her (of course I have not stooped to her level and don't intend to lah). You don't know what it's like, to try hard and be let down in love. Especially when it means so much to you. So you do know what its like? And you're fine with it? Well, I'm not. Perhaps it's my ego/insecurity/whatever, but I hate it. That's why I try to improve myself, because some time back there, my belief in myself left me.

I make my life sound so depressing. When in truth, it is not. Don't get me wrong, there are many things in my life that I really appreciate. Just this "love" thing. It's eating me up. Damn if I didn't believe so much in love.

2009-07-18T09:08:00.000-07:00

"Hi, you talk to the walls, I sing to them. We should meet."

FAIL

2009-07-17T19:55:00.000-07:00

Was looking through some Facebook photos, and realized how fucked I would find life if I didn't get to intern at SPH next year, or work there when I grow up.

I don't really have a passion for going out, poking people and asking them questions but I love to write and I guess that's something I get to do, in a way I like most, at SPH.

I don't believe I am saying this but...I actually miss SPH.

WANT TO GO BACK. WANT TO PROVE THAT I CAN MAKE IT. WANT TO CHANGE SERENE'S IMPRESSION OF ME. WANT TO WIN.

2009-07-17T19:44:00.000-07:00

Such has been life. Going to Chomp Chomp for supper has since become somewhat of a nightly affair for me in the past few days. It must be the stress.

I am supposed to be eating Relish later, but them plans seem to have disintegrated like what is fast happening, as I type, to my arms/chest/abs.

Went out this morning to eat Bar Chor Mee and Butterflies (should be an album title). Nomz.

Am supposed also, to be doing photoshoot later. But I am so frigging lazy, I just want to stay at home and finish newswriting transcript while feasting on the multitudes of Butterflies I da-pao-ed home from this morning.

The sole purpose of this post is to make myself wake up and realize how urgently I need to visit the gym. Lest I turn into a gurgling blubber-blob.

2009-07-16T20:40:00.000-07:00

My frustration at my own procrastination and the constant ticking of the clock till 5pm is driving me to new heights of insanity.

And, as one can see from the growing number of flab layers at my neck, that the 2 weeks of not gyming is taking a toll on me. Both on my physique and on my psyche.

Go wiki Bigorexia.

2009-07-16T09:46:00.000-07:00

Everyone over at Tumblr has such awesome pics, but I can't seem to find any that depict perfectly the situations I am going through. Thus, I have decided to make my OWN photos from now on. Non-Conformist or what siol (wears coon-skin hat, large shades, neon singlet and forces myself to love ALL Broken Social Scene songs)

Everyone also tells me that my situation now should have been anticipated by me, and that I shouldn't have been such a dunce or that I am too un-perceptive. It's just so....disappointing! I mean...I thought...the world was a better place and that you were one of the few who could prove that to me. I guess not. Yeah its you. YAH YOU. You reading this. You are the person I am disappointed in. Now quick, go tell the world at large.

2009-07-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

Achievement of the day. I swear I will gym tomorrow even if it keels me. NEED TO GET BACK ON TRACK! (what with new protein and all now) sigh... :( kinda disappointed in myself.

2009-07-09T22:53:00.000-07:00

HI SAM. holidays you can come over and play with her.

2009-07-09T22:32:00.000-07:00

J'ai Guru Deva Om
Nothing's gonna change my world ~ ~

2009-07-07T15:31:00.001-07:00

Retards

2009-07-07T01:41:00.001-07:00

Alamak. Damn sad this song.

2009-07-06T10:02:00.001-07:00

I LOOKED AROUND, LOOK AROUND. AND SAW HOW HAPPY EVERYONE WAS, WITH THEIR PARTNERS AND ALL. AND I REMEMBERED, REMEMBERED, HOW I LET YOU GO, AFTER FIGHTING IN APPARENT VAIN, FOR WHAT SEEMED LIKE....

AN ETERNITY.

LIFE IS DEPRESSING. MUST GET OUT OF THIS FUNK. but then again, that's like saying, "let's just throw sand over this. sure it'll still exist, but at least you won't have to see it again till the Winds of Change come and blow the sand away".

Which is in a word....denial.

2009-07-05T08:50:00.000-07:00

I went out to scout for stuff today and was pretty pleased actually with the prices of stuff I want. Will break out the mother soon.

Am I really living in denial? Is this what an outsider will see? Are there no other ways to solve it? I always thought...it seemed normal.

Quote of the ____: "my brightest stars, in the darkest nights"

2009-07-03T08:30:00.000-07:00

Just came back from soccer. We almost got into a fight back there with, of all people, a bunch of Catholics. Sense the irony?

Anyway, when things started to boil over, I felt weirdly confident that we'd be able to take them. Or rather, I'd be able to take one of them and fling them. Whether it's because gym is making me cocky, or because my ego has grew, I felt uncomfortable. Since when did I become so itching to fight or so cock-sure about myself?

I wonder if it's a good thing. Or like what I'm feeling now, a really really bad thing. I hate change when its for the worse.

2009-07-02T14:27:00.001-07:00

I feel like I'm in a bit of a funk right now. With friends mostly. Don't know what is the problem, but there just seems to be this "thing" in between.

And my procrastination, is just getting worse. I need a planner so I won't keep forgetting what I have planned for the week, but I don't even have the discipline to use one.

Don't talk about Spain, all I want now is for school to end, and for me to be able to sit at the back of the house, eating Laksa, and sipping Pokka Ice Tea.

2009-07-02T01:47:00.000-07:00

Tried uploading pictures of the album but failed. Whatever.

Very appreciative that Dad went to get the 2 albums for me from San Fran. And the new protein formula too. Thank juuu.

On a sidenote, my sleeping habits are fucked. I slept at 10pm last night, woke up at 11 today. THEN at 3pm, without knowing how it happened (and i mean it, it's like this blank spot in my memory) I fell asleep again. And woke up only at 4.30. I don't remember going to lie on the bed. I don't remember closing my eyes to sleep. The last thing I remember is sitting at my Mac.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME.

2009-07-02T01:46:00.001-07:00

Sort of in a rut right now. Damn.

2009-06-28T04:30:00.001-07:00

Addicted to this.

2009-06-26T10:31:00.001-07:00

Today, I went into a club (Zouk) for the first time in my life. Stood for the entire time there, shouted when I needed to talk, and braced my ears as the music blared. In short, I guess, it was everything I expected it to be. We didn't make use of our "free drink coupons" in the end, but oh well. Like Justin said, "It's our first time, and I hope it won't be our last".

Speaking about Justin, kudos to you (Y). I am really thankful because I do not know what I would have done if you didn't step in and help, no wait, do all the networking. Thanks for saving me from being a veritable rock - standing around, not knowing what to do. You need to teach me how you do all this someday soon.

On an unrelated note, I'm not exactly the best person in that field, but seriously, I expected more than just, "I kill you", or stuff to that effect. Wonderful comeback. Bravo.

2009-06-25T09:26:00.000-07:00

The saddest situation is when you let your own paranoia, insecurities and fear (most of them unnecessary), destroy, bit by bit, something you worked so hard for.

Don't do this to yourself.

2009-06-23T11:16:00.000-07:00

So what am I?

God exists and there's no way ever, that I'm doubting that.

But I question and doubt so many things, the Church, the beliefs, the religion even.

Is it possible to love God while all these patrol my mind?

2009-06-22T13:05:00.000-07:00

In 2 year's time, we go to army.
In 3 year's time, we'll be digging trenches at 3am in the pouring rain.
In 4 year's time, we'll be free.
In 5 year's time, we'll be University students.

For the next 2-3 years, we'll stay that way.

In 8 years time, we'll graduate.
In 9 years time, we'll start work.

For the next decade or so, we'll stay that way.
Along the way, we'll get married, have kids.

In 19 years time, we'll go into business.

For the next three decade or so, we'll hope it stays that way.

In 49 years time, we'll retire.

And the list could go on till our dying day. Heck life is predictable, but as long as everything's fine, give me safe and predictable, over reckless and exciting anyday.

Who knows. Maybe I'm just comforting myself.

2009-06-21T07:58:00.001-07:00

MEMORYYYYYY
ALL ALONE IN THE MOOOOONLAAAAAITE

2009-06-21T03:30:00.000-07:00

I guess life's just like that. A never ending fight to yield to the ideals of society, and how you let it get you down if you are not able to.

Oh and what a get down I'm going through now.

It sucks that I have the reassurance of friends, and still can't get over it.

2009-06-18T10:00:00.001-07:00

Yesterday's drinking party was a bit of a fail. In no small part thanks to the security guards. Dang.

Got stoned really early and practically rolled around the entire of Ej's place from the pain in head and stomach. Finally at 5am, it ended.

Nevertheless, HAPPY BIRTHDAY EME. Enjoy 18.

2009-06-14T02:45:00.000-07:00

Creep-y.

Holidays are getting off to a slow, blubbering start. Have been konsuming much food.

The coming 2 weeks will be spent in working out, building bridges and of course, listening to Matthew's voice on my Mac. Matthew. Bet he has some secret plan to mind-control us with that voice of his.

Bought Thickers foam letters just now. Pretty much obsessed with them! Have been staring at them for quite some time now.

Will be going for 1st soccer session later. Long live Upper Court.

2009-06-10T09:06:00.000-07:00

I just found this photo...somewhere. Looking forward to hunting food with you Jonathan Soh.

2009-06-05T07:42:00.000-07:00

Today, I went out to get interviews/pics/info for my FA.

FAIL. We ended up roving around the town, eating, drinking, sloth-ing. It is how life should be lived (Y).

We also met Bryan Foo today. Bryan was cute at the start, when he asked us to read off his Starbucks napkin, words which he wrote. Then he started to get pushy. Luckily, we remained clam-ed down.

2009-06-04T17:38:00.000-07:00

Amazing how everyone is fretting over deadlines and I'm here, un-pressurized, un-perturbed. You know what? I'll finish my FA tonight, with fabricated quotes many many (ok, prolly 1 or 2 real ones I cannot have this mentality). Then, tomorrow, I will finish CommIss before dinner (aiyah tch that means i can't play soccer). Then....I guess Sunday will be for WebD. See! No pressure, no pressure people.

As for the new area in Mousehunt, the new Hydra Mouse came to my trap but...i missed. Oh well but it doesn't really hurt that much seeing how freaking much money I need to go into the nah bei new area. 1.2million (inclusive of new trap which is like 0.0). AND not forgetting the 18 scrap metal. Fuckanathan. The Hydra drops them, but I'd rather take my chances with a Scavenger which is difficulty level "Very Difficult" as compared to the "Overpowering" of a Hydra. So as of now....the new area can go die. I shall take the vintage path, collecting my RB, hitting the catacombs, praying for scrap and making my Acronym. Then we'll talk about amassing 1.2mil and 18 scrap metals. By which I should be mid-way through Hero or something.

I have never been this commited to a game.

2009-06-02T22:05:00.000-07:00

Got to bulk up got to bulk up got to bulk up

2009-05-31T08:55:00.000-07:00

For some reason, this is like my fav. album cover. SO FAR.

It's like from his point of view and he's going "mmm, i'll bet that you'll look GOOD ON THE DANCE FLOOR" to the cashier girl (who, to me too, would look very good on the dance floor). So...risque.

FAV ALBUM COVAH

2009-05-30T08:17:00.000-07:00

As we were walking down Boardwalk Way,
We stopped to look at the sun,
Stopped to question life and love,
How we'd live and learn.

So I looked at you and,
You looked at me,
For a good 5 minutes there,
You silent and with your,
Ever knowing eyes,

"What if we cease to exist?"
"Darling we'd never stop"
"What if we parted ways?"
"You know I'd follow you"

As we continued this, You say,
Let's stop to think of the fears,
Stop to question time and us,
How we'd live and learn,

So I hushed at you and,
You stared at me,
For a good 5 minutes there,
You knew I meant it, when,
I said forever.

"What if we cease to exist?"
"Darling we'd never stop"
"What if we parted ways?"
"You know I'd follow you"

2009-05-30T00:09:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not addicted, but I really find it weird how a simple game like this can bring me bliss. In the form of short bursts of happiness/excitement, and for reasons I've yet to find out...peace.

I can safely say I find MouseHunt more enjoyable than any other online game I've played before. Yes, even over Half-Life.

2009-05-28T11:37:00.001-07:00

If you do see this, this is for you Emeline.

Thinking back I may have sounded like a desperate prick who was just trying to be difficult and squeeze out every last drop of hope from the situation.

But you must understand that all I wanted was a reason. Because without it, I wouldn't know whether to continue, whether to press on, whether to be angry, whether to be sad...e.t.c. So now that there is a reason, I have direction and things can go on.

I'm sorry if my apparent stubborness has opened a rift us. I didn't mean it.

Friends? :D

2009-05-28T11:29:00.001-07:00

This is the sort of thing that makes me wish I was hot, wanted and...LIVIN' IN BEVERLY HILLS. THAT'S WHERE I WANT TO BE. (ok sorry, i just really like that song)

Speaking about hot, I remember the goal I set for myself a while back to become "hot", by the worldly standard of it, by my 18th Birthday. Which is exactly...6 months and 2 days away.

I have 6 months and 2 days away to reach my goal. I better start now. I look like a weak chicken and my arms are shrinking faster than a slug doused in salt. HOUGANG SPORTS COMPLEX HERE I COME.

Watch me.

2009-05-28T01:39:00.000-07:00

AT LAST.

There is closure. Thanks in no small part to Veronica. I promise I shall be more empathetic with my words from now on. After all you are human too (right).

"So what you want me to do like that? I tried my best already what"
"Nothing, I never ask you to do anything"
"Then!?"
"Just hope that you will pick yourself up and try again"

2009-05-27T09:25:00.000-07:00

I'll do what I always do,
And drown in work,
Loose myself in the gym,
But go back to God,
Go back to strength.

2009-05-26T07:46:00.000-07:00

You are my Brother.

And I cannot stand by and watch you fall like this.

2009-05-26T06:44:00.000-07:00

I've deleted quite a number of recent posts because I think they are redundant or stuff that I would pretty much like to move on from.

Things are starting to look up. WebD is very near completion and I pray that nothing goes wrong. Next week is Week 7, so there are no deadlines whatsoever due. At last, a breather.

The past 2 odd weeks have been a whirlwind of life and WebD/Radio. I've not had any real sleep for 4 nights and counting. I need something, to help me forget all the stress that I've brought upon myself lest I turn white, shrivel up and die.

And that's about it. High time I get back to my flash and finish this. Go me!

"You know how people always tell you to think about your future?"
"Yeah"
"Wanna know what I see?"
"Shoot"
"You, I see you. And a future between us"

2009-05-17T10:49:00.001-07:00

It is 1.49am, I am sitting at my workspace and compiling my interviews. Listening to Viva La Vida live, glad to know that I was part of the experience.

I always wonder whether it was a good or a bad thing for me to be born in Singapore. This in comparison to the other "developed" countries out there (because no one in their right mind will think of being born in a country worse off than theirs).

Anyway, DiDi is on this, "I want to live in a car" phase of his life. Damn cuckoo.

2009-05-17T07:56:00.001-07:00

I came home in the morning
And everything was gone
Oh what have I done
I dropped dead in the hallway
Cursing the dawn
Oh come on sun
Why must I burn
I’m just trying to learn

I stared into the light
To kill some of my pain
It was all in vain
Cause no senses remain
But an ache in my body
And regret on my mind
But I’ll be fine

Cause I live and I learn
Yes I live and I learn
If you live you will learn
I live and I learn

Got kicked in the head
So I started a fight
Cause I knew I was right
But I learned I was wrong
I remember a slaughter
I remember I fought
For the money I brought
I got blistered and burned
And lost what I earned

But I live and I learn
Yes I live and I learn

I got, I got it now
She’s got, She’s got it now

I came to on a corner
With some help from a man and goddamn
I don’t seem to have learnt
That a lady in need is guilty indeed
So I paid and got laid in return
And I don’t know what I’ve learned

Well you get what you give
And hell yes I lived
But if you live as you learn
I don’t think I'd be learned
Oh with the sun in my eyes
Surprise, I’m living a life
But I don’t seem to learn
No I don’t think I can learn